Friday, July 22, 2016

Anger Without Sin

Note: I will still post more of my thoughts, reflections, and struggles regarding abortion (See "A 'Floating' Controversy: Parts 1, 2, and 3") in days ahead, but I wanted to share this today. Thanks so much to those of you who have taken the time to talk with me, or email me, or comment with your prayerful thoughts about abortion and how we are to address it. You have blessed me. I am truly shaped, by God, through Godly friends, in so many ways.

Well, I did it. In my anger and frustration I posted something sarcastic on Facebook, and later took it down . . . though at the time I posted it I even felt in my spirit a caution (which I ignored). Basically it was a meme (or whatever they are called) that was a reference to Ted Cruz's convention speech the night before, and the boos and hate that came when he didn't endorse Trump. It said, "Dear Trump Voters . . . Here is the most critical question of all for those who didn't like Ted's speech. When he asked people to vote for a candidate who shares your values and would defend the Constitution, why didn't you think he was talking about your candidate?"

I know about "the pledge" Ted took. I know he refused to endorse Trump. I know all that. This isn't about Ted. This is about my frustration and the biting sarcasm God has really helped me come free of all coming together in a perfect storm and causing me to sin and have to relearn a lesson.

As a background I am so tired of the biggest reason anyone can give me to vote for Trump being that it is a vote against Hillary and to save our Supreme Court. These are powerful reasons, I get it, but what does it say when the strongest arguments "for" a person are the arguments against their opponent? I am sick of a nation more concerned about allegiance and blind loyalty to a political party—even one that no longer reflects them—then to God (one of the reasons I went from the Republican party to no party affiliation toward the end of the primaries). I am tired of being made to feel like if I don't vote for a man like Trump I am voting to destroy a nation I put my life on the line to defend. I am so tired of people who I know love God (even some candidates I used to respect) singing Trump's praises simply to beat Hillary, knowing that, despite a few token "God" references thrown out, he is proud, a self-proclaimed lover of money, rude, arrogant, seemingly unrepentant, if what I have heard about his book is true then a boaster in sexual exploits, and his financial success is in part tied into an industry that preys on people at their most desperate and lost place (gambling and the associated lives, entertainment, and industries around it) . . . to mention a few things.

God opposes the proud! God! God does! I am supposed to vote for a candidate who God is going to oppose? My doing that is going to "save" America and make it great again? Really? If we ever thought our greatness came from anything other than God's blessing and favor then we are more ignorant than I thought.

More and more I am seeing how this world is not my home. It doesn't reflect me or my values. I am an alien and stranger in it. My citizenship is in Heaven. I am seeing things called "okay" that I never thought I'd have to prepare my daughters to deal with in a mainstream society. But, I shouldn't have been surprised. I guess that is what verses like this are talking about:

2 Timothy 3:1-5   But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.

2 Timothy 4:3-4   For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.

Isaiah 5:20-21   Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter! Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and shrewd in their own sight!
I guess, if I'm honest, I want to be able to "win" in this world and I should have never expected to be able to. I want to be able to vote for a candidate I believe in and who I feel like God will bless, and not feel like I am betraying my country (and even my daughters' future, if Hillary gets to pick the Supreme Court). I can't win. And so I guess I have to choose—trust (and fear) God more than man and vote for who I believe He will bless, or vote my "wisdom" and hope God comes behind my choice.

But here is the crux of this post, and the real reason for it. I have many friends, who I love, who are probably voting for Trump—and my falling to sarcasm in my anger and hurt and frustration was not love toward them, or toward anyone who feels they are doing the right thing. These are people who I do believe love God and treasure this nation, and I let my hurt cause me to be sarcastic and biting toward them.

Cutting sarcasm is something I struggled with in my early Christian days. Before Christianity I loved to debate. I loved a chance to verbally dissect someone without having to use profanity or things like that (an ignorant way out, I felt). Oratory was something I studied for fun. A hero was Winston Churchill who supposedly told the lady who said that if he was her husband she'd poison his tea, that if he were her wife he would drink it. I took pride in that zinger that left somebody floored. And I was good at it. After I came to Christ I really had to reign that in. To be OK not getting in the last word. To let someone get me with a zinger and to hold back the one I had for a reply—one I knew would knock out their verbal knees from under them.

At first I reigned it in with sheer will, but gradually God has helped me to where it isn't even a first thought anymore. I don't want to "zap" people. I want to love them and show them Christ. I don't have to get in the last word or line. It is OK to just love and take it. Just like Jesus did.

But yesterday, seeing all the hate coming towards Ted for failing to endorse Trump, and the blind party loyalty we are "demanded" of just to "stop Hilary," and feeling trapped in a no win situation, I saw someone's meme and thought it biting and, lashing out, I shared it. And in doing so I let my anger cause me to sin. To be unloving to people I care about. To go the way of the world and not love. Scary, isn't it, how close that "old stuff" still often is in our new creations?

I don't believe loving means compromising on truth. But God says in Ephesians 4:26, "Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger." I have found—unfortunately too many times—that I can be as well-intentioned and even scripturally "right" as can be, but if I am not acting in love it is worthless because God is love, and He won't bless or be a part of that which isn't.

Monday, July 18, 2016

A “Floating” Controversy: Part 3

Note: The background for this series of posts is found in Part 1. I would deeply value you reading this series, as well as your prayerful thoughts and input. These posts reflect something I’ve been processing for a while now, and am still trying to work through.

How do we engage the public and expose/place the reality of what abortion is in a position that it can’t be pushed under the table . . . and still engage, and be welcoming to, and offer love and hope to, those (female and male) on the other side of an abortion? This is something I’ve thought a lot about, but not gotten a clear answer to. Each time I’ve addressed abortion in a group environment I’ve been aware of, and deeply sensitive to, the pain in the eyes of some in the group that my guess harkens back to an abortion they had, or maybe a part they played in one, or something they didn’t do to stop one. And these are people, often, who have sat and heard of God's love and forgiveness for years.

I’ve struggled with the idea of signs showing photos of aborted babies in public places. I know for me those images were a graphic wake up call that this is real, those are babies, and that the murder of babies is happening daily, all around me. There is no way to avoid the issue when you see one of those. But I've also had that same effect from Ultrasound photos (though, if I'm honest, not as powerfully). But . . . what about the small child that walks by and sees it, who isn't in a place for that subject yet? What about a parent's right to raise that issue with their child when they are ready? And, of course, on the other side, what about the rights of the baby inside the womb that needs people to defend him or her?

Too often I feel like myself and the church at large are too
much like this cow we saw on our anniversary—trying
to stand with feet on both sides of the fence.
And, what about the person who walks by a sign like that and feels waves of shame and guilt for an abortion they took part in, and maybe because of the bluntness of the signs and message feels too ashamed or intimidated or condemned to talk about it? What about when they go home filled with shame and guilt and isolation—or turn to sex or drugs or alcohol or even worse to try to escape or numb the pain? God loves those people as much as He loves the babies being aborted. And, while I believe that those babies will be in Heaven, many of those people might not be.

I don’t know how to handle the issue of abortion—and I mean by this the rubber meets the road nuts and bolts of walking out a stand against it, and the love of God for those who've already participated in it. I know the ideal "theology" of it that works so well sitting around a cup of coffee and talking, that it must be a mix of truth and grace. That is what Jesus modeled for us. But, I am talking about what does this mix of both look like on the street, in real life? Because, honestly, what is happening in this nation today isn't working—babies are still being legally killed and handling the issue "softly" and "non-offensively" isn't changing it.

So, for those who love babies, and who also love God and His work on the cross dying for the lost and for our sin, how do those two messages (truth and grace) mix, in a practical way? I remember talking with my friend about the float when it was in the "thought" stage and asking about the Gospel/forgiveness message. He made a good point. If there are too many messages on one float they all get diluted and all get lost. It reminds me of Mary Ann and my early days doing desktop publishing. The first instinct was to cram as many messages as you could on a sign or flyer, but the end result was a crowded mess that said nothing. We ended up fighting to preserve the "white space" (blank parts of a page) so that what was written would stand out. [Note: Danny intended to have people with Liberty Bell bags with gospel literature walking behind the float looking for people who seemed bothered so they could stop and talk to them, but it didn't happen with all the hassle they were given.]

It is easy to “pick on” abolitionists who stand there with "those" photos. The internet is full of people hating or attacking them (even many “Pro Life” people). And, if we are honest, they make us uncomfortable. But is the warm fuzzy approach working? Is this nation turning from abortion? Are churches having those hard discussions and being active in the issue beyond a few dollars to a C.P.C.? Will people confront this issue if they aren’t forced out of their comfort zones and ostrich holes?

Ultimately I know that the Holy Spirit needs to lead and direct every encounter, street moment, etc. Jesus rarely did the same thing twice the same way. Each encounter was different and unique to each person He faced. But if we aren't careful, "letting the Holy Spirit lead" can become a way to avoid the whole thing. How many of us are, really (be honest now), listening for Him to say, "Go and take your sign and stand at that intersection"?

And so I return to the original question that I am still trying to work through: How do we—how do I—confront this issue in a way that the nation can no longer let it exist in the background (and that Christians uncomfortable with the issue will still face the elephant in the room) and, at the same time, make sure that every person who is on the other side of an abortion (or participation in some way with one) knows the love and forgiveness and freedom from shame and guilt that God offers (and feels safe talking to us about it)? How do we do both?

Friday, July 15, 2016

A “Floating” Controversy: Part 2

Note: The background for this series of posts is found in Part 1. I would deeply value you reading this series, and I would value your prayerful thoughts and input. They reflect something I’ve been processing for a while now, and am still trying to work through.

I recognize the heart of one complaint against the float, that they (some of the people complaining) want to introduce to, and discuss with, their kids, on their time of choosing, the issue of the womb, etc. I understand that. One of the main reasons we homeschool is to obey God’s command to train up our children and so we can direct and monitor what our girls learn and when they learn it, and to make sure that they understand the Godly foundation of all subjects. I get the person’s complaint . . . but I have to ask, “So, are the discussions happening?” Are they talking about the ugly truth of abortion at any point?

Here is the comment I put on the web sites and Facebook pages of the two newspapers I am aware of that covered the float. It said:
I truly understand parents wanting to introduce subjects to their children on their time, and under their direction. It is a legitimate parental concern, and one of many reasons we homeschool. But the issue remains for those who believe that life begins at conception, and this is, “Then when is the right time?” We celebrate the Declaration of Independence on the Fourth of July, and it has almost at its very beginning the statement that the Creator has given unalienable rights to all men, including life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. For those who believe that 3,000 or more people a day are having those rights taken from them with out being given a choice in the matter (meaning 3,000 plus babies whose “choice” is not considered in the “pro-choice” position) how could anyone stand by and not try and change that? Not putting the issue before people isn’t working, obviously. Our nation continues on its course. So what is the time and the place, then? At what point would people stand up and confront an issue if it was legal rape or a legal concentration camp or something like that in our midst? I’d hope that this nation of people who love freedom would rise up and do something, and not celebrate the freedom as if nothing is wrong. Again, I do understand the concern of parents, and I can think of many potential floats that could have gone by portraying things I would find offensive or not want my children exposed to. I really get that. But then I wonder. If not then, then when is the time? Again, being silent isn’t changing anything. And for people who believe those are defenseless babies that are being killed, it is morally wrong to just stand by and do nothing.
Based on the responses to my comment and others' it quickly became apparent that while there were probably some people who agreed with the float’s stand but simply didn’t like the timing or their kids being exposed to the issue at that point, for the most part the core of people’s complaints was really the subject matter. As one lady replied to me, “The right time to shame people for making choices that effect their own body is NEVER. Mind your own uterus.” It wasn’t the float being in the Fourth of July parade (i.e., the timing). It was the float. Period! For most of them, the float would have never been OK!

And, so, what about the timing? Is it inappropriate to have a float like that (seemingly controversial, depressing, difficult topic, maybe or maybe not age appropriate, etc.) in the midst of a joyous, family time parade? Again, if have to ask, is the conversation happening elsewhere? Are the ugly and horrible facts being addressed? Would there ever be a “good” time in the eyes of those complaining? Would they have complained if it was a gay pride float, or if cross dressers were parading? Or is it only tolerance and love for the born but not the unborn?

I know I’d be angry if a float with gay people kissing or one showing sexually suggestive stuff went by a parade I took my girls to . . . so I understand the heart of the complaint (if the timing argument is the real heart and not just a way to push the issue aside). But, again, the float portrays a reality! If that reality didn’t exist there would be no reason for the float. I wonder, could we have a joyous, family parade celebrating the life, liberty and pursuit of happiness our Creator gave to “all men” a block or two away from a known concentration camp where innocent and helpless Jews were being starved and gassed? I’d hope not! Wouldn’t there be some hypocrisy in that? Rather, I’d hope we wouldn’t bury our head in the sand and pretend, like Voltaire’s Candide, “All is for the best in the best of all possible worlds.” No, we, as Christians, know evil is real, and suffering is real, and that the devil preys on the weak and innocent. I’d hope we’d liberate the camp, set them free, and then celebrate together the freedom for everyone!

Three thousand plus abortions a day in America. So, when is the “right” time to discuss it? If people aren’t outlawing it, then what option is there besides making them aware of the stark and real horror and reality of it? And what are we, ourselves, doing about it? Do we throw a few dollars at a Crisis Pregnancy Center and feel better about ourselves? (There will be more about C.P.C.s and some different thoughts on the Pro Life and abolitionist's works and stand in a future post in this series.) Our family and our fellowship both support in different ways a local CPC, and I believe that many babies are saved and people brought to Christ through it, but I also know that there are times I’ve let myself off the hook from things more uncomfortable and said to myself, “Well, I give to ____ and they fight abortion.”

But what am I doing? Me? I am not saying that everyone is necessarily called to stand on a street corner against abortion. I do believe God calls His body to many different areas of activism for the hurting and defenseless and downtrodden (poor, addicted, widows, orphans, homeless, etc.). That is the idea of a body—many members, each doing its unique gift and calling. But . . . if I’m really honest . . . the magnitude of the abortion issue calls me to do a lot more simply by the horror and scope of what is happening. How can I, in good faith, ask God to bless a land that does what this land does to babies? How can God bless a church—a body of Christ—that lives in the midst of concentration camps and does nothing, or just throws a few dollars towards it?

Thursday, July 14, 2016

A “Floating” Controversy: Part 1

Note: This post will set the stage for multiple posts on the abortion issue. I know they are long, but I would deeply value you reading this series of posts, and I would value your prayerful thoughts and input. They reflect something I’ve been processing for a while now (and struggling with), and am still trying to work through.

My heart is heavy. I like to be comfortable, and my heart gets heavy when I am confronted with something I know is right, but I am uncomfortable doing. In the issue I am about to write about, I know I am not doing enough.

A float that was in the recent Templeton Fourth of July parade is causing quite a stir in local papers and on Facebook for such a small “hometown” parade (Templeton is about an hour from us). The float was made by a group opposed to abortion (more about them and a petition they have in a future post) and it consisted of American flags, an eight-foot tall Statue of Liberty (without the torch lit), lots of baby dolls, some banners (one read, “Where the Spirit of God is there is Freedom! Let Freedom ring!” and the other talked about how abortion is America’s holocaust), and some photos of babies in the womb. Because of the venue of a family patriotic parade these were beautiful photos of babies in the womb—“fetuses” according to the newspaper—and not photos of aborted babies as some of the critics accused them of doing. That being said, if any young adult or adult is not fully convinced that abortion in fact kills a baby (not a “fetus”), seeing photos of aborted babies will quickly change that because even a child will immediately know that they are truly babies and not just a “fetus.”

The designer of the float—Danny—was quoted in a local paper saying, “Our hope is to create a juxtaposition between the freedom we hold in our ideal and the freedom that is still being withheld to so many around the world. With the flag of our country flying over an eight foot statue of Lady Liberty we see the ideal of American freedom we hold in our minds. At the base of the float [where the baby dolls were] we see those still in need of being liberated. With the Liberty Bell following and ringing out to call our nation out of its slumber and to attention. To wake the nation with the gospel of Jesus Christ. Join us in the ongoing fight for freedom!” [Note: because of controversy when the parade director tried to block the float they were not able to follow it with the Liberty Bell and the literature about Jesus they had for people who might seem to be struggling after seeing the float.]

I know Danny. Fairly well. And he and his family are some of the most humble, God-loving and obeying people I know. I have rarely met a family so committed to live out and act out what they believe God is calling them to. We may not agree on every theological issue, but I have a sense that God is far more pleased with Danny’s actions in faith than any theological correctness I may have that I’m not acting on (see A Stunning Realization for more on that really, really important idea . . .).

As I read many of the comments about the float complaining that the Fourth of July parade wasn’t the place for it I kept thinking back to Danny’s comments regarding the “ideal” of freedom we celebrated that day, juxtaposed to the reality that over 3,000 babies a day in the United States have no freedom to choose life (the “Pro Choice” movement never seems to talk about the baby’s choice). I then thought about the Fourth of July which is the celebration of our Declaration of Independence, and the words of the Declaration itself, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness . . .” Ironic that people complain about the public defense of a baby’s freedom and life, on the day they celebrate a document that established us with the idea that a CREATOR has given to ALL PEOPLE the gifts of LIFE and LIBERTY and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS. I guess that pursuit only applies to the mother and not the baby. But, of course, those who feel that way don’t consider it a baby but rather a “fetus” . . .

And this is a core question of this whole issue. Is he or she a baby, or is “it” a blob, a fetus, a bunch of cells? Well that all hinges on when life begins. As a Christian I believe it is untenable to believe it begins at any place other than conception. To believe God would create life, in His image, to be “life” only when it can be medically supported outside the womb is to bind God’s hands to mans’ science. It is to say that a baby went from fetus to baby at, say 8 and a half months a couple centuries ago, but goes from fetus to baby maybe at seven months today (I am just making up figures to make a point)—or that, say, an 8 month “fetus” in America is a baby, but it is still a fetus in a third world country. That is nonsense for people who believe it is God that gives life in the first place. Besides that common sense reason for life being life in the womb, we have only to think about John the Baptist, in the womb, leaping at the entrance of Mary, who was carrying Jesus in the womb. Or about David’s Psalm 139 where he marvels how God knit him together in his mother’s womb, or God’s comment in Jeremiah 1:5 when he tells Jeremiah that He knew him before He even formed him in the womb.

No, for a Christian, life must be considered to begin at conception, and as such it must be defended as the epitome of the defenseless. And so, what does that defense of life look like? And here is the point at which it gets uncomfortable. I will post more about this and thoughts I am struggling with in coming posts, but hopefully this post has given the background for what I am going to write about.

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